"When He Talks, People Listen" -- How a Family Raises an Autistic Child
Story by Edward Nieto
The miracle of life is a blessing. When my nephew was born, I marveled at how the most ordinary of events seem amazing to a child, a new soul experiencing life for the first time. As a child gets older, you start comparing your child to other kids. If your little new family member is not talking at an expected age, everyoneÕs mind starts to wonder whatÕs going on. Everyone thinks the child might be deaf, so the school starts teaching sign language.
I still remember the day we found out that my new little nephew could hear, it was relief. I was editing a video at my house and the little guy was watching me work. He comes up to me and points at the TV and then points to his ears as if to ask me without using his voice was up with the sound! We were all happy to find that he could hear, to know that thatÕs not the issue.
One day he came back from the doctor's visit and we find out he has autism. We were all in shock, but knew as a family ,we would deal with it. We tried to find out everything we could about Austism. At first, you get a bit upset because this little child has something that no one really knows anything about. There is really no known reason for it, just theories. They say it could be from shots, or the parents having kids at a late age, and countless other reasons, but most of that is nonsense. The real deal is that no one really knows anything about it. And the reality is, every child is different, so how autism impacts their lives is different. We do know that there is different types of autism, and some have it harder than others.
I remember watching Rainman with Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman again after we found out, and looking at the movie in a different way. The research says itÕs easier to treat a youngster then an adult. ItÕs a good thing we found out sooner than later in our case. My nephew used to have some temper tantrums, but luckily heÕs calm down, but he gets himself into a routine where everything has to be the same everyday. He is hardcore about the smallest detail from what shoe goes on first, to what arm goes first to put on a jacket. At first we feared how he would be as he grows older, but my nephew gives us signs that heÕll be ok.
When he was a baby, I used to watch a Cyndi LauperÕs DVD. After he could walk, he would start crying when his folks left to go to the store or something, but I would put on that DVD and he would immediately calm down. He would sometimes sing along, which was odd because normally he would not have much of a vocabulary. But he would get down with Cyndi.
Our family are finding ways to challenge him, so he doesn't fall only into habits that might not help him in the future. When he wants something, his mom makes him ask the person directly making eye contact, which is good because I think if he had it his way, he would only talk to his mother. I have a Castle Grayskull toy that he loves to play with, but if he wants it he has to look me in the eye and ask. I have it displayed out of reach, so he really does have to ask someone if he wants it. In general he does not really say much, which might be wise because when he does say something every one really listens. Sometimes itÕs hard to separate the Autism with him just being a child that feels like being a brat. So I try to treat him all the time like he is just being a brat.
He loves math and writing his numbers. I try to break him from that to play with toys, but him being into math is really not a bad thing. When heÕs older IÕm going to try to get him to do my taxes. He is also amazing at using a computer. He does things on it, that leave you amazed, asking, "How did he do that?" In school they used to use pictures a lot to talk to him, but he has gotten communicative as he gets older.
At the end of the day, he is a child who loves baseball and video games. Some may say heÕs not regular, but who is?
