Midlife Crisis at 21
By Cristina Valdez

 
I am fully aware that a mid-life crisis would be considered ages 35 to 50, not 21. But I feel compelled by the same symptoms. More and more, I catch myself thinking, “If only I stayed in acting I would probably be famous by now, if only I stayed in swimming I would probably be a professional by now, and if…” You get the point.   A “mid-life crisis” is supposedly when people get to generally the mid-point of their lives and come to a realization that they haven't accomplished what they once wanted to. For me though, I'm realizing it now.

I have a few friends my age that seem happy, and are accomplishing what they set out to achieve already. One friend has started his own silk-screening company,   another is the first to go to college out of our crew. And while I'm doing well, I have a great job for some one my age and I just purchased a brand new car on my own, I keep coming back to the question, “Am I achieving my goals?” I am so crazed by this question, I feel like pulling my hair when I write this. I'm sure there are other 21-year-olds that feel this way, but I would feel a lot better if I met them. My guess is that early mid-life crisis is becoming more common among early twenty-year-olds, but is an issue that is rarely acknowledged.

For me, my crisis came in Vegas. I went to Las Vegas to see my favorite artist perform, Gwen Stefani. After the concert I ran into none other than her entourage -- all the band members and dancers. Most of them were around the age of 24. That's not that much older then myself, yet they're living the ideal life in my opinion. They were traveling from city to city, visiting multitudes of crazed fans. On the flight back to San Jose I should have been thinking, “What a nice trip, Vegas was crazy,” but it went a little more like this: “I don't know if that was the best thing that could happen to me or the worst.”

It could have been the best because I absolutely love and adore Gwen, so to meet her personal friends was a pleasure. But it also could be the worst because it was a reality check of my own personal status in society, which I guess compared to others it is not bad at all, but to me its just not enough, its not what I envisioned. I work I full time job and go to school part time, and on the side I like to paint.  I am well off on my own, I just feel like I could have done so much more, which is a horrible feeling.

To my parents, I am the best off or “successful” out of four kids. I was the first to move out, the first to purchase my brand new car, and the only one still in school. When I talk to people about how I feel, I get responses like,   “I don't know what she's complaining about” and that's exactly why it's never recognized, because of shut down answers that make you not want to talk about it.  Too me its not just complaining it's much bigger, it's a check-point in my life.  

I think a lot of the people who get caught up in a mid-life crisis at a young age go through similar steps. For example, we compare our lives to our childhood dreams (swimming, acting) and we compare our lives to people we look up to (Gwen Stefani's dancers) or our good friends doing “better then us.” As a young adult,   I don't think of all the things I could still do, but all the things I could have done.

Since I started going through this, I've been asking people about their life and their early 20's. I've come to a conclusion that everyone goes through this, although not everyone experiences it the same way. Some only got through for a short time and others for years. However what I've learned is that this is the first out of many steps you have to take to get over your mid-life crisis -- is realizing you're in one.

Now that I've taken the first step, I don't know what I'm going to do next, but when I find out, I will let you know.