Diary of a First Year Public School Teacher
Article by Illiana Perez // Art by Matthew Rocha

I am a traitor to my own kind. I have abandoned the world of procrastinating college students by literally having the “tables turn.” My once small student table has now turned into a large commanding teacher desk. I am a fresh out of college first year high school teacher at Lincoln High School in West San Jose.

The excitement of landing a job in this economy was present, but short-lived. The day I walked into my classroom and envisioned 36 teenagers in the then 36 empty desks, I was pretty much ready to jump out of the window (which wouldn’t have been very effective since my class is in the basement.) But I thought, “you know what, I can do this.” If a student acts up, I’ll pull a Michelle Pheiffer in Dangerous Minds, and if a student doesn’t want to cooperate I’ll channel my pal Edward James Olmos in Stand and Deliver. If Hollywood did it, why can’t I, right? Wrong.

Truth is, I arrived the first day in a complete state of nervousness. The only thing I can compare it to is an audition. Except in this audition, not only are you nervous of not acting the part, (with your professional get up, your commanding attitude and organizational skills) you also have to stand up there and entertain your judges, which in this case are 150 unruly high school youth. So, for this audition I had to definitely get into character. (Did I mention that I am 5’0, am naturally passive, and was recently asked if I was 15-years-old?) I wore my most professional outfit, scripted my most professional speech and got the intimidating teacher stare down. Of course I also took the courses, passed the exams and taught a couple of classes on my way but in the end, I don’t think anything can truly prepare you for your first day of your first year teaching. My classes taught me about theories methods and educational philosophies but that could only help so much.

When I was student teaching in a Title one high School in Sacramento I was able to participate in the senior graduation. The students embraced their friends and security formed a human wall around them to prevent the stampede of family members jumping over bleachers onto the field. It was certainly touching to see everyone burst into tears when students received that Diploma. But on the other hand…it’s just your diploma. Let me make clear that I am in no way belittling the education you receive in High School. I am also very aware that for many students, receiving that diploma was hard hard work. Many students had to overcome issues that are far beyond anything anyone of us has had to deal with. A lot of them are also the first in the family to graduate High School. Their success and excitement is definitely well deserved. Still, seeing them so excited at the prospect of having finished their education made me a little sad. Is this it? Is this the highest expectation you have for yourself? Is education and success just passing high school? Has nobody ever showed you that your future can be limitless?

Though it is difficult, schools should try to surround students with support and role models that expose students to opportunities and skills that expand far beyond High School. You want to start a business? I’ll show you how. You want to go to college? I’ll help you. This is all possible because guess what? High School is not the end. You need to keep exploring and looking beyond what immediately surrounds you. High School should be the beginning. I can go on about life after High School, but the truth is, many students don’t make it. Here is my stay in school speech: “you are here, you are young, you don’t have kids (usually) or a mortgage and guess what… it’s free. I guarantee that if you don’t do your work and graduate now, you will spend a couple years working and eventually, once you have kids and major bills, you will go back to High School. Except this time it wont be convenient, and guess what, it won’t be free. So, do it now or do it later, your choice. Either way, it’s hard work, and it requires sacrifice, dedication and support but guess what? That’s what I’m here for. So get to it.”

And finally, to my overworking first year teacher brothers/sisters, I say this: you are definitely NOT alone. You are not the only ones with practically no lives. You are not the only ones staying late in your dark little classroom, or arriving early to start it all over again. You are not the only one that gets asked, “do you know how to jerk?!?!” on a daily basis. If you still do not understand my plead for solidarity then at least take this advice: Make some friends (preferably other first year teachers that feel your pain and joy.) They will keep you sane. Because in the end, no matter how many movies you watch, and how many philosophies you study, I guarantee you will also be standing in front 150 students, in awe.