Sometimes It's Fun, Sometimes There's Blood
My Job as a Bouncer in Downtown San Jose
Story by Mike B. Nice // Art by Fernando Amaro Jr.

I'm not a violent man. I like to see people have a good time, but I don't like to see them stupid-drunk, acting like clowns, and class-less. I like to enjoy a woman's beauty, but I don't like to have strange, drunk@ss women fondle me as if I were their personal rubbing pole. I like to dress up, but I don't like having to stand in the same spot for four hours, wearing a stiff two-piece that makes me feel like a bodyguard. I like protecting people, and breaking up fights, but I don't like being an a!$hole, which is what people are used to when you do what I do. I am a bouncer at an upscale San Jose night club. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes there's blood.

I actually love the work. I don't see myself as a bouncer, but more like a protector. My job is to protect the property, the fun environment, and people's physical safety. I like breaking up fights, pulling dude's away from conflict, talking to them, and making sure the beef is put on ice.
It's not always that simple, however. Besides being the main producer of revenues, and item of desire for clients, liquor makes people think they can do things that they really can't, like fight. Sometimes you can see a person gradually get drunk as the night progresses, and predict a misunderstanding, such as a girl being harassed, two drunk dudes accidentally bumping shoulders, and the confrontation in the end. I try to see the humor in it. You should see your fellow San Jose folks. They'll show up between 10:30 and 11:30, get a drink at the bar, stroll around looking at themselves in the mirrors, walk right by me as if I were the wall (few folks greet bouncers, probably because most see us as cops), get another drink…The walk gets a small limp, and eyes get a little crooked, more people arrive as the night progresses, the same early customers are stumbling by midnight. By 12:30 you can smell the liquor on the crowd, and begin noticing which clients might have an episode of stupid drunkenness, and get into a fight. I always check in with people – men and women that carry a hard “I'll f*%@! you up,” look on their face. “How you feeling?” I'll ask. “I'm cool,” is the most common response. “Alright, just want to make sure because you look like you want to hurt somebody.” They almost always laugh, and it's most always a dude. “Let me know if you feel like doing anything dumb,” are my last words. People will let me know if they think a fight is about to erupt, or if a girl is being harassed. I am always professional and polite as possible, never pushing, commanding, being an a#$hole. People respond well to this approach, and it feels good when people tell me that I'm a cool bouncer, different from the others. That tells me that I am creating and maintaining the positive atmosphere that I would want in my business, or event.  

But sometimes the fight just happens, and we bouncers are the first to jump in, pulling people away, dodging punches (or not, and take a few), trying to calm people down, and get the fighters outside. Most dudes don't know how to fight well, and are just drunk, so don't care about who they hit, or if they are hit. The liquor numbs the senses, which includes the senses of maturity and honor. Sometimes girls get hurt. The chaos explodes, and all of a sudden a body collides into you, you hear bones and flesh getting beat. A lot of times the looks on a people's faces are worse than any punch they might throw. It's drunken, frustrated, hateful, and exploited rage. I know my peers are overworked and underpaid, exhausted by the time the weekend comes around. They want a female body to lay with, but miss most of the time because they aren't rich or good looking enough to get that one night stand they're craving. To make it all worse, they can't see themselves from outside themselves, so don't understand why they want to get drunk and fight, and wake up feeling shi*#y the next day. My job as a bouncer is to push the violence outside the club, which I don't like to do – I would rather help end it. I hate seeing my peers make war with each other, because nowadays fistfights become knife and gunfights too fast.

When I'm not telling people to clear the hall, or telling some drunk pervert to stop hanging on the women, I'm talking to people, telling them where the bathroom and smoking areas are, and talking to girls. That's one thing about being a bouncer in a suit; the ladies like it. Part of me enjoys the attention, another part doesn't care and just wants the night to end. To be sure, I hate when drunk, slurring women with hot liquor breath come and try to feel me up. Somebody must have told them that's what bouncers are for. I tell them that I'll get fired if my boss sees them on me.

The greatest challenge as a bouncer for me is not breaking up fights; it's preventing fights from even happening with intervention communication. The way I see it, if a fight happens, the crew of bouncers aren't doing their job. The pay isn't that good, but I'd rather get the scratch (small pay) than be out wasting it on weed, liquor and ruined health. The bouncer gig makes me stay fit and alert. Sure I might get hurt, but I haven't up until now. I pray I never do get hurt, and that I'll never have to hurt anyone.

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