Our Relationships
Being incarcerated can have an affect on peoples lives, especially on loved ones on the outside. De-Bug asked the question what are you looking for in a relationship with friends, family or even a significant other? What has it been like for you since
being incarcerated?
I Cannot Call It a Relationship Without Him
Jodi Kerwell
The most important thing in my relationship is the fact that he's my best friend. I can talk to him about anything at all and not have to worry about judgments or resentments. I can be myself and he loves me just as I am, he does not try to change or mold me into what I'm not. In the past five years we have not been the perfect couple, but we've managed to get through it. Just like best friends do.
 Growing into a Healthy Relationship
Sarah N.
I want a healthy relationship with my friends and family. Now I realized that my past relationships were very unhealthy, abusive Ð verbally and physically. My relationships have changed for the better since my incarceration. My mother tells me she recognizes the changes. We have grown closer in my time away. To improve our relationships we are communicating honestly with one another and not screaming and putting each other down. My mom and her boyfriend's relationship is a good example of something healthy. If anything, they influence me to strive for better in life and to strive for more.
Remembering a Bad Past
Most of my past relationships have always been abusive. In almost every way. Verbally abused by my father, sexually abused by my cousin and only to enter into abusive relationships. I went from one abusive boyfriend to the next. Black eyes, busted lips, stitches, broken nose and cracked cheek bones. I realized and recognize that abuse runs deep in my patterns and I need to break the pattern. What I expect out of a relationship with any one out of the three is: I want better communication, understanding and communication and I'm also willing to accept feedback. While being incarcerated first you have to work on yourself then try to work on any issues that may have happened in any of the relationships for example: Hurtful words, cheating, lying for myself. I have set certain standards and I expect a healthy relationship with anyone. There are certain boundaries that any individual has to respect in order to be around.
Daisy Says What She Wants in a Relationship:
Lover, trust, faithfulness, dependability, loyalty, honesty sincerity, open communication.
Past relationship patterns:
Abusive, damaging, selfish violent, faithfulness, devoid of trust, negative.
Improving my relationships by:
Being in recovery, putting it in good hands and trusting God.
Relationships that influenced me:
Yes my parents married since 1971 and never spent a night away from each other.
I Realized That I Definitely Want a Man With..
Kim Allgood
What I want in a relationship is complete honesty, compassion and trust. This is in any relationship I am in. My relationships with my daughters since I've been incarcerated have grown into loving, trusting, and very understandable. I've been able to show my daughter how to be honest and take care of our past problems. As I look and evaluate my sister's relationship, I realized that I definitely want a man with values, who has good gainful employment, passionate, compassionate and trustworthy, faithful and honest. As of today I am staying single and concentrating on putting my life in order and getting my values back in perspective. I still have a long road to travel before I am ready to start any romantic relationship.
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