The Adult Stress of Immigrant Youth
Story and Art by Adrian Ramirez

With all of the immigration marches going on in recent months, legalization for immigrants is at the front of a lot of people's minds. Most of the signs I see people carrying at the marches are about jobs and driver's licenses. But for me, and many young immigrants, legalization is about allowing kids to have childhoods, something many of us never had.

Being raised in an immigrant family of just my mother and I, I have felt all of the stresses that other teens in a non-immigrant families did not have to face, such as the lack of parental backing, both in financial and emotional support. Immigrant children grow up fast, and carry a stress that usually only adults feel. Although I am 21 years old, I feel like I'm 30.

Growing up, I recall my mother hardly being at home, she left for work at ten in the morning and returned home at eleven at night. It wasn't that my mother was neglecting me. That wasn't the case at all, it was just what was needed in order to survive. My mother and I talked about it a few times, and she made it clear to me that she was stuck at a her low-paying job because we are undocumented.

That is where the stress for a youth coming from an undocumented family differs from the stress a youth would feel coming from a documented family with limited resources. A documented family has a greater opportunity to get out of that low-income status. That family will never have to stress out about not being able to drive, vote, or travel. Those are added stresses that build up and make it harder for a family to rise and overcome.  

The stress that I felt growing up was that of an adult. I had to cook, clean and look after myself, starting at the age of seven. At a time when The Power Rangers and Barney should have been on my mind, I was too busy trying to figure out how to make myself dinner and when it was time to add the softener to the laundry. And it's not that I never had anyone looking after me, but it is never the same as your parents being there.

Carrying around the stress is no easy task especially for a child's mind, which is not yet ready to deal with it. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I blamed myself for wanting toys and extra little goodies that all children want. It came to be that the stresses of having to look out for yourself at such a young age carried on to later years in my life as well. Over the years the stress made me tired, frustrated, and insecure. I felt like I didn't belong in this country, because I didn't have the same opportunities that my other friends had. When they thought about college, I thought about how I would never be able to pay for it and knowing that I would have no financial backing from my mother didn't help any.  

Around the age of 12 or so I felt that I was old enough for me to produce some of my own income. I would do odd jobs around the apartment complex to make money so that I could buy myself new shoes for school. That grew into a weekend job at the San Jose Flea Market setting up and running a few stands, all this before my 13 th birthday. Even though my mother had always provided for me, I knew that the salary that she was making was not enough. I could see the stress building up in her when it came time to pay the bills and the rent. Her stress became my stress.

There is a line where a child and a parent must break their financial tie with one another. A time when the child is old enough to take care of his or her own needs, for most people this age would be defined as adulthood, which theoretically would come at the age of 18. But for immigrant teens that age when they have to take on the problems of the world is more like 12 to 15. Even though the world is not ready to see you as an adult. It even starts to question you. People would ask me, “Why are you are trying to grow up so fast?” or “ Why is it that you take thing so seriously?” There are times when you can't take it, but the problem is that there is no one there to help you.

It was really hard for me at first to understand why many of my friends had their parents around more than I did and how they didn't really have to worry about money. Not to say that they didn't have to worry about money, but they got to do it as a family as opposed to me, where I had to face it on my own.

Ultimately, growing up fast has also had its upsides as well. I feel like I have been more prepared for lifes hardships and I have been able to make better choices in my life. But if the immigrants rights movements succeeds, and the undocumented are given avenues to legalization, the most powerful accomplishment will be that youth will not have to carry the stress that I did.

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