In A City Where No One Knows I Exist
Homelessness in the Bay Area
Story by G.Melesaine // art by Fernando Amaro Jr.

As I drive along the next street, the light turns red. I stop and take view of the homeless man walking up and down the island holding his sign that reads "a smile is good enough for me." In my rearview mirror the Acura behind me quickly rolls up his window and tries his best to pay no attention to the homeless man. The light turns green but I don't move until the homeless man makes his way back to my car (plus I know its pissing off the asshole in the Acura) and I give him my last three dollars. By that time the Acura honks its horn and I give a blessing to the homeless man and a finger to the Acura. I never fully did comprehend the meaning of being homeless until I became homeless.

When I was sixteen years old, still going through my adolescence, my father finally kicked me out of his home. Luckily my older sister got the boot too, so I wasn't alone in our quest to find a new spot to settle. We decided to go to San Francisco because the thought of being seen homeless by someone I knew was shameful and embarrassing. San Francisco is a city where no one notices you unless you have money and by this time I wanted no one to know I existed. We packed what we could hold, snuck a free ride on the Cal Train and started roaming the alleys for a good place to sleep. I became aware that the homeless population was more than I thought, because the majority of the alleyways weren't vacant. After searching the city, we gave up and rested at a bus stop on Folsom. Little did I know that this is where these fucked up pimps infest their sex business on the perverts that pass by.

So I sat there, pretending to wait on buses when I knew I had no destination in mind except a good dream. Five hours past and the temperature dropped around 40-30 degrees. It was now 2 am. I could hear a prostitute moaning in the alley behind me as cars, only containing men driving slow to street shop for their sexual desires.

The reality kicked in when I started conversating   with a pimp. He was obviously intoxicated and told me within the night he was going to teach me the "game" so I could get out of the situation I was in.   He told me that when you train "hoes" you have to control their minds, so start with the weak ones. The weak ones were supposedly young white girls. He said that hoes are never to go on "dates" with black men, that was illegal and if they broke that law they would be physically beaten until they learned. Me, I'm really compassionate about everything,   so his voice was really drained out of my mind. The only thing I really learned from him was to “trust nobody" and I especially hold no trust within people who disrespect women into financial ventures. He left around the block to search for one of his "hoes" and I continued to freeze.

Now the temperature became my main burden and I swore that if I fell asleep I would be dead, so I kicked in my insomnia. A homeless man passed by and offered his blanket to me, but I refused. I was staggered that out of all people in the world who wanted to help this homeless sixteen -year-old, it was a man who probably had less than me. That is one of the lessons that really changed my whole perspective on life and it came from a homeless man.

There's alot of misconceptions about the homeless. People tend to think that people who are homeless are that way by choice, but that is just part of the propoganda that greedy people like to proliferate. Most of the homeless are victims who suffered from child abuse or violence and one quarter of the homeless are children. Many have either lost their jobs or lost their homes and everyone knows it is impossible to support a family of three or even pay inner city rent on a minimum wage salary. I've heard alot of people say that most homeless people are usually dopefiends   or alcoholics,   but research suggests that only 1 out of four are substance abusers including the 25% who suffer from mental illness. The majority of the homeless are very inteeeeelligent and willing to work if given the chance by some of those people on the "top."

In my life, I realized that society has alot to do with the push and pull factor. We live under a mentality that allows us to look down on people with nothing, because if we stop and do take a glance at the bottom, our chances to make it to the top become tainted.  

Homelessness affects the society as a whole. I believe it has alot to do with our moral standards. And morally, if there is a seventy-four dollar meal that can only feed one mouth and there is a child starving who can be fed with less than five dollars, than I'm sorry but something is morally wrong.

Also By This Author:

What “Class” You In?
How Public Education is All About the Money
Story by G.Melesaine
Art by Thuy Ngo
August 18, 2005