When Do We Stop Growing?
Story by: Jessica “Dazel” Valadez
 
“When do you know it's time to let go?” I heard someone ask curiously from across the room. As I heard someone else answer the question I just sat there and nodded my head. His answers were putting me into deep thought, not because I was wondering the same thing but because I knew exactly what he was talking about. We were discussing the topic of growth and how it affects people, especially during their most vulnerable moments. But he said something that stuck out to me, “A man really loves a woman when he shows her his weaknesses.” Every word uttering from his mouth just had me hanging on from one emotion to another.
 
I always felt that everything we go through helps us grow. That everything happens for a reason and there is no “coincidence.” My belief is in order to grow you need sun and water. Even after all our shinning days comes the rainy days so we need to appreciate those rainy days, cause they to help us grow. No matter what age we are, we will always continue to grow.
 
I came to a crossroad after being in a relationship for four years. One day I realized that I wasn't growing. It was my last year of high school; I was looking forward to everything that came with being a senior: prom, senior luau, grad night, and graduation itself. I realized I wasn't going anywhere when everything became routine to me. The arguing, crying, feeling lonely, not wanting to leave him cause I was with him for so long that it just felt comfortable. I had no job; I wasn't going out with friends, going to any sports events -- anything! I just stayed at home, waited for him to come over or call. While he got to go out with his boys, he worked; he did what he wanted to.
 
I worked up the courage to just tell him to “kick rocks.” I realized instead of us going somewhere together, I was being left behind while he got his shine on. At the time I worried it might be the biggest mistake I ever made, I wasn't going to find anyone who would ever love me again. Now, three years later I feel like that was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I realize now how being dependent on someone who had me around just to have me, was not healthy. How could I think that my whole life could be ruined over one person? I have more to live for than that.

I know this experience and every experience after that is a gradual learning process. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, you will love and you will hurt but the lesson is not to stay wrapped up in your fears. Find your inner peace and know in this world you exist. As cliché as it sounds, time does heal all wounds.

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