How Graffiti Took Over My Life
Story and art by Manuel Ramirez

Graffitti for me is a form of writing emotion, the way people feel towards themselves, the way that they feel inside.

By the age of 13, graffiti was all over the place, and so were the blues and reds of the gangs. In 7th grade I saw graff up close when this one kid was doing it. I leaned in to look closer, and saw that he was drawing his name in blockletters. I asked, “What's that?” and he said “that's my name, but in graffitti style.” I asked him what graffiti was and he told me, “It's a form of letters but into style.” I hung around him, and kept seeing it more and more. The more I saw it around me, I got more influenced by it. The time that I started was the end of middle school and starting of high school. It looked hella toy, but I tried my best.

In high school I had an art class for an elective. I loved art and I still do. In my art class, I mostly drew letters. When I was sketching, I was drawing my name one time and a student came and asked, “Do you write?” and I said, “What do you mean?” he said, “What do you write?” and I stayed there quite in front of him. Ten minutes later he said, “Why are you so quiet, I asked you a simple question!” I said, “I don't write, I just draw letters!” and then he said, “Dude, your stupid.”

Later, he explained how graffiti was more than just drawing letters. Those couple of days, he brought me to his house and showed me techniques by showing me his drawings and magazines. The more I understood it, the more I got to know him, too. He became like a brother to me. Later that year he took me to a bridge that was over by my house. He brought cans. I stood there and asked him, “What are we doing now?” He gave me a look and said, “What's wrong?” I said, “Dude I'm hella scared, what if we get caught?” In a strong voice he said, “You could run, then run for your life!”

I said whatever and ignored him, but I knew that he was telling me a lesson that I would always live by – always run from the cops! Meanwhile, he gave me the cans and said, “The drawing you did earlier, you're going to put it on the wall, but bigger.” I held the can and it felt like I was holding a can of soda but with paint. I did the piece and it was cool just hearing each other paint and the sound of the freeway. It was like pulling out all your fears and putting them on the paint. All the emotion that you have inside your head or in your heart you let it go towards the piece. The more angry you get, the piece get's better, the more sad you get the same thing. Emotions make the art.

Junior year came, and my friend graduated, and I was the only one that I knew of that did graffiti in the whole school. I got into a relationship and was always around my girl, so I never had a chance to touch a can and go paint. She never liked graffiti, and every time she saw me doing it, she would take the pen away, and say “pay attention.” So every time I draw, even now, I here that voice in my head. Whenever we would get in a fight, I would go to paper or walls to release my emotion through letters.

Senior year came and everybody knew I loved to do graffiti, and they would ask me to do their name on their backpack or on paper. Just walking through school and seeing people holding my drawings on there binder or backpack made me happy. The only thing was that every time my girl saw one of my pieces, she'd say, “What the F*** is that?” I'd say, “Oh, I did that yesterday,” And we would argue about the same thing.

During the senior year she got bored of argueing about the graff so she cooled off. It was a month before Cinco De Mayo, and graffiti got more influential in my life and the school. When my graffiti was all over in school, the principal was looking for me and even asking my girl if I did it, but my girl would always say no. Once, the principle saw me doing a piece at the lunch table. She came up to me and said, “What are you doing?” and I said, “I'm doing my friends name!” and then she said, “I was wondering if you have a chance you could do a Cinco De Mayo banner for our school and the month of May?” I said, “Sure, I'll do it.”

Weeks passed and I worked on it all the time. My lady was always there to say, “No babe, that's not right.” Usually I didn't finish it, because I was always with her or doing people's names. I was hella flaking out on this banner, but eventually I finished it. I was in the school newspaper, so I was happy about that. School was almost out. And I was so happy cause I was going to graduate but one day the prinicpal called me up and said, “If you don't pass your classes you won't graduate!” So I knew that I had to stop doing the thing I loved to do, which was graff, but I had no choice.

It was hard to let go, but I had to. It was like letting go of my girlfriend forever and never seeing her again. I was paying attention to classes more, and friends were getting mad cause I didn't hang around them. Even my girl was getting mad, cause she said I should have been paying attention a long time ago.

I graduated school and I broke up with my girl. I still do art, just not through graffiti. I am focusing on illustration and web design, and can see a future in it, combining my career needs and my passion.

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