Friends Talking
Story by Thuy Ngo // art by Eddie Munoz

Dating these days is so different then what it used to be. Like for titles, people no longer say, “This is my girlfriend,”” or “this is my boyfriend.”   It's either “This is my life partner,” or “we're just friends,” or “we're just talking.” People just no longer seem to put too much stake in being a romantic item or “going steady.” Typical couples that I see are more like friends with benefits if anything. It's hard to supposed to know what's going on. People just seem like they are in denial of what is really going on, or afraid to move to the next level.  

Take my mom's situation as an example. My mom has been living with a man slightly older than her for about six years.   When it's convenient, my mom says that they are an item. Other times they are just friends. Other times when she's mad they are considered “roommates.” They did not officially do the paper work, but they had a party to tell everyone that they are together at one point early in the relationship. He bought her a ring. I can't say that this is what happens when parents are mad at each other and that's why my mom would change their relationship status. The reason being because legally they really are not married and he does sleep in a separate room, but that changes from time to time.   All I know is I still don't know what to call him.

Another case is about a friend of mine.   Technically this person has been with his sweetheart he has been with for the last few months. They would talk, kiss, hold hands, and do all the thing a couple would do. There was even a time that they came out of a dance wearing each other's shirts. However, when it came to asking their status with each other, they would say they are simply friends or they are just talking.  

What does this all mean for the future of dating for all of us? For those of us who need to know where the relationship is headed, this leaves us with so much confusion. We are left with open ended questions that keep us wondering.   It seems really ambiguous what happens to make a relationship these days, not to mention what makes it work.   By rationale, it seems that dating makes people afraid of commitment.

As for myself, I am currently single. I enjoy what comes from it. No tricks or people keeping me in check, or promises to remember or break. I am still waiting for that person who would be worth my time to come into my life, but as for this time, I am having fun being single. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  

Also read:

Dating a Baby's Daddy
Story by Jessica Valadez // art by Thuy Ngo
July 10, 2005

Guy Games
Men on the Down Low are Still Just Cheaters
Story by Jesse “Jboz” Stone Ingram // art by Thuy Ngo
May 26, 2005