Waking to the Whimpering Child At My Door
Looking After My Younger Brother
Story by Krystin Denney // Art by Adrian Avila

I remember waking to the whimpering of a child at my bedroom door. He sounded as if he had lost everything, with a look of fear on his face. As my morning eyesight adjusts, I recognize the face of my brother. For being seven-years-old, he was brave. But tonight, he must have sensed the loneliness. I suppose he hadn't realized how alone we really were, until tonight.

I was born in the year of 1985,with a half-brother five years older. The youngest of the children was my brother, Justin. In the year of 2002, I was 17, my older brother, Jon, was 22,and my little brother was seven. We had a structured lifestyle with an over-working father, and a mother whom we felt as if God had sent to us for punishment. We loved them both, but at this time in our lives, we had no connection with them.

My older brother, Jon, had moved on his own at the age of 18. He had stopped coming around after his daughter was born. He had a family to take care of, so I accepted it. I know he had dealt with so much as a child, and I know I didn't help his life get any better when I was born. He didn't receive the attention he deserved, nor the credit for being such a responsible teenager. At times, I felt as though he hated me, but he looked out for me and taught me many things along the way.

Since my younger brother and I had 10 years between us, I felt like we had nothing in common. He was the baby now and I was jealous. I wasn't mean to him, I acted like a little mom. When I got past the jealousy issue, I realized how much I loved Justin.

I was the middle child, which usually bothers most kids who are. But I felt like I had gotten a taste of both worlds. I had an older brother to beat up guys who looked at me wrong, and a little brother to teach things to. I remember a lot of things when I was young, but never can I forget this time in 2002.

As I saw my little brother whimpering at my bedroom door, I knew he had found us to be alone again that night. It killed me to hear his questions and for me not to have any answers. Our father stopped coming home for several nights, and our mother had gone with her new boyfriend to another city. My parents had been fighting constantly for a couple of years now, and they had forgotten about their responsibilities. So, seeing my brother standing there, I started to cry. I brought him to bed with me and tried to comfort him the best I could. We cried together for a while, then eventually fell asleep.

I woke early the next morning after only a few hours of sleep, and got Justin's school uniform ready for him. I woke him up and helped with his uniform. He felt a little better after he had slept. I met him at the front door to give him his backpack, and we started our morning walk to his school. We stopped at the corner liquor store along the way for something to eat for breakfast. I had saved some food stamps to put away for times like these. Then we were on our way. I waited until the bell rang, then I headed back home.

While I was walking up to my front door, I was greeted by my probation officer whom I wasn't expecting to see for the next couple of days. I wasn't worried about getting in trouble for drugs or anything like that because I knew I could give her a clean bottle. The only problem was that while I was waiting for my brother's class to start, I had gone to the bathroom. Therefore, I couldn't give my probation officer a "sample." She was ok with hanging out with me for awhile because we got along well and I could talk to her like a friend. I didn't dare tell her about anything that was going on with my family because I didn't want to get my parents in trouble, since my dad was doing drugs and didn't hesitate to have that out in the open. I figured that he didn't care what we saw after I had found needles and bags of meth throughout the house. So, as my officer and I sat at the kitchen table, she suggested that I drink something so that I could give her a sample. I knew the refrigerator had been quite empty for several days, so I went for the faucet. I was so mad at myself because I had forgotten that the water had been shut off and when my officer saw that, she asked to see the rest of the house. I hesitated, but what could I do, say no? After a tour of the house, she made one phone call and told me to pack my brother and I some clothes. She then took me to the children's shelter. She told me that a police officer would be escorting Justin from school to meet me.

Justin and I spent a few months in the shelter before being transferred to a foster home. We adjusted well, but still, our minds were never at ease. I hated my parents for what had happened, and to this day I have a hard time even speaking to them without the negativity in my voice. This was a life changing experience which I would never wish on anyone. I know I have grown and learned about so much throughout my life. Even though many bad things have happened, I have learned to appreciate the hand that I have been given. Obstacles in life happen so that we learn from them and grow stronger so that we can help others when they are in need of encouragement. So, regardless of how bad a situation may be, there will be something better waiting to be discovered.

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