Priests Plus Pedophilia Should Not Equal Pay-Offs
True Justice Needs to Start with the Survivors
Story by Elizabeth Gonzalez

The growing awareness about the sexual abuse of minors throughout the country is slowly moving the topic out of the dark, but the focus is on the wrong people – the perpetrators rather than the survivors . Whether it be how the Church can pay out for their priests assaults, or a community trying to kick a convicted molester out of their backyard, missing from the conversation about solutions is concern for the healing of survivors.

The recent case of Oliver O'Grady is another typical example. O'Grady, who served as a priest for more than 20 years in the Stockton diocese, settled for $3 million out of court, after the diocese has already paid more than $10 million for claims involving O'Grady. The media gave no real mention of the survivor. His case is a sample of the larger American story of pedophilia and pay-offs.

Over 700 civil lawsuits were filed against Roman Catholic dioceses in California since the state in 2002 temporarily lifted the statute of limitations for filing sex-abuse claims. Only in the U.S. could people think dollar bills could assuage the psychological torment suffered by victims of sexual abuse by Catholic priests. Suing the Church makes it seem that money fixes everything and only encourages others to come forward and seek their piece of “American Justice.”   But what can you do with money to erase the memories, the feelings of shame, guilt, and anger?  

After the last news report I saw on TV where a survivor got a large payout from the church I was so disgusted hearing him say that he did it “for the other survivors of abuse” and that he could finally, now, get on with his life. I just couldn't believe that he was honest in saying that his motivation was other people, when he is the only one getting a fat check from the church.

Pay-offs are a slap in the face to those who continue to suffer. Especially for those who will never get the chance at justice through the courts because they can't even mouth the words, “I was sexually abused.”  

Survivors don't seek money as a way to finally move on with their lives. If money is offered for the abuse from the person who molested you, accepting it only makes you a prostitute. Healing doesn't begin with money, it begins with an apology, true remorse for the actions that marked the lives of victim-survivors and a commitment to end the cycle that plagues all sectors of society.

The only way financial compensation can be justified is if that money is put back into preventing child abuse, into having people talk about it and not have it continue being a dirty little secret to add to the shame of a family.

The only other time the topic of molestation makes it to the news is when a community is trying to kick out a registered sex offender from their neighborhood. As with the priests, the story of abuse is centered only around the perpetrators rather then the actual victims.

The debate about communities rights to kick out people who they have seen on the official registered sex-offenders website is finally getting some people to talk about such a taboo subject, but only has people curious about who is on the list. People want to know who they should be kicking out of their neighborhood.

I don't defend pedophiles in any way, but they are left as public targets while our children are far more likely to be molested by someone they know, maybe even someone in their very home rather than someone on a website.  

It gives us a false sense of security to have a website that identifies sex offenders when the majority are never prosecuted and will never have to register on a site. It is not enough to out certain groups of people without having widespread solutions to prevent abuse from happening. Moving the perpetrator to another church or another town doesn't make anyone safer and does not even address the problem.

The sex offender website, and the church pay-offs, seem to be about solving the problem of abuse, but it only leaves us with a skewed version of justice to those who need it most. People who have been sexually abused are just left feeling like they have been wronged again because their abuser doesn't have so much money to pay them off, or is not being forced to move.

I don't even know what could prevent such a disease of society, but at least with more awareness about the interests and rights of survivors of abuse, and not just fear about your local pastor or the neighborhood creep, no one will need to suffer in silence about what happens to them.