"Hardcore and Straight Edge Por Vida "
By Paco

I was born and raised in the eastside of San Jose. Most of my youth was spent playing sports, hanging out with friends, skating, and music. Drugs weren’t a big concern in my life until I reached fourth grade. I fell into a deep depression with my problems at home. Smoking weed was my only escape from these problems. Attending Dorsa Elementary School also was a big escape for me. I would spend my days getting high before, during, and after school. As I went on to attend 6th grade at Fisher Middle School, I was introduced to alcohol. At that moment, I didn’t need anything from anyone.

I ended up moving to the West Side at the end of 7th grade. That summer was when I discovered what heavier drugs were. Willow Glen was different. I was exposed to diversity, from race to other people’s financial status. Even my manner of speech was uncommon. The only thing I had in common with everyone else was getting high. I moved towards the end of 8th grade to the South Side, graduated and went on to Gunderson High School.

At that point I became conscious of the fact that I could make money on the side by slanging my supplies. Never attending my classes, doing my business all the time and becoming gang affiliated was my lifestyle. By this time my depression only grew worse. The habits increased once I had found out my homie, who became my best friend, had been murdered that year. Things weren’t looking good for my freshmen year at G-town. My ambition to make money was a greater one then graduating on time. Not even a semester into the school year and a conflict with a bunch of my fellow junior varsity teammates between the varsity team had caused me expulsion from the district. I was gone as quick as I arrived. All this only made me bitter about life and didn’t care where I ended up. I was living outside the district and Oak Grove High became my new school.

No friends to get me through the day, not caring about my education, and a new school to make more money. Once again, the connection I had with everyone else we’re drugs. My deals became frequent. But it was never enough to keep me content. I would itch for more. As the business grew, so did my threats. It never fazed me until I was warned that I would be killed if I didn’t break off my dealing. That really brought a reality check to my life. So I backed off from dealing and being seen around the block. The life I had was taking me nowhere.

Music had always been a big part of my life but never took initiative on pursuing it. It’s been my first calling ever since I can remember. My objective soon turned to making music and less to my business. I began projects here and there. Jamming with all sorts people from before and new people I was meeting. When my friends would get together it became a party ‘till we dropped. My habits were still the same but by this time, they had become more social. It went from parting every weekend, to parting everyday of the week. But sophomore year at Oak Grove was life altering for me. The person I become was no longer the person I was. I wanted a change for the better, and making music became more central to my life.
I got into punk, metal, screamo and hardcore bands. Out of all of them, the hardcore stuck out for me the most. It has become a brotherhood for me. Kids coming from broken homes trying to find somewhere to belong is what built the connection for many of us. Just having somewhere, something, to call our own. That's how I came a cross falling in love with the music. It’s about the message, the music and always trying to brake away from this world. Never trying to follow society or the new fads. Just having a mind of your own to better yourself. Hardcore has become a lifestyle for me. Maya Over Eyes (the band I’m in) and I have taken the message and made it a bigger one. With heavy guitar riffs and lyrics that come from struggles. The music speaks for itself. As I got more involved in the music, my other habits were falling off me. Something in me made me want to graduate and not just be another statistic.
Prior to this, my homie Sergio had always been on my ass about my habits. But the choice I took that sophomore year was one to keep me out of trouble, and went completely straight edge – no drugs or alcohol.

As I decided to become sober, a lot of my friends didn't like the fact that I no longer wanted that life. They completely ditched my friendship because they took my new life as something I wasn't. Others saw it as a joke, and I was called a square, a loser and even a Mormon. No one invited me anywhere because I was now as the “boring” person. The question everyone would ask was, "How do you have fun?" It amazed me how people only knew fun as getting drunk, passing out and not remembering last night.

But my decision to become drug free has been the best and most important choice I have ever made. I dropped my gang act, my dealings, and all those homies who once were close to me but only cause the drugs. It’s been five sober years.
Ironically though, part of the way I have been able to stay sober for five years now is all the other people who judge me for being straight edge. Another thing that I draw strength from is the music I play and my straight edge brothers all over the world. Because this isn't a trend as most say or think. It's a decision I took for myself. It's also saved me from a lot of grief and heartache. But one thing is for sure, I don’t hate on people who don't live a non-sober life.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I plan on being this way for the rest of my life. Not for my friends, or my family, but for myself.