All Eyes on Me
I'm Gonna Be A Model
Story by Erica Martinez // photos by Isabel Gonzalez // clothes by New Edge

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Ever since I was young, I've wanted to be famous.   I didn't exactly know what I wanted to be until I entered middle school.   What really got me determined were the comments that everyone would make to me because of my weight.   I couldn't stand it when people would tell me, “God, you're so skinny!”   When people would tell me that, I would just tell them, “So?   I'm gonna be a model.” No one believed me.

High school became harder. That's when I started being more self-conscious of my weight.   I didn't understand why I was so thin.   I ate every two hours, and I ate everything: pupusas, posole, morisquetas, In and Out burgers, milkshakes, everything!

One day, I was approached by a modeling school called John Robert Powers. I convinced my mom that I was determined to do my best.   My first audition was scary. In an audition, you give the judges your name, age, and category – like if you're a runway model, commercial, etc.   Then you do sideways profiles of your face.   If you're a model, you do a runway walk.   If you're a commercial model, you do a monologue.   I gained so much confidence because I competed against lots of white girls.   I was the only Latina and the only one from East Palo Alto, and everyone else was white and/or rich.   My sister came with me and she gave me a lot of confidence.   She kept saying, “Don't trip.   You got this!”   And I did!   I think what did it for me was when they asked me why I wanted to do this I told them, “I've always been by others what I have to do -- be at school, go to college, or work.   But modeling – this is something that's my own.   I want something that's mine, that's independent, and one that I could be proud of.”

In addition to doing modeling classes, I'm also taking acting classes so I can do commercials.   In my class, I was the only minority so that really became a challenge. Being Latina and speaking Spanish brought difficulty for me. It was hard for me to articulate and enunciate the way they wanted. Sometimes I would feel like I was less than the other girls, but I still had to work my hardest.

A few months later, another audition came up for a huge competition in New York.   The people who would make it had to be really good.   I auditioned, and a week or two later, I found out that I made the cut. I made my way to the Big Apple. It was a whole new world for me. There were thousands of people I was going to be competing against.   A lot of girls, I think, didn't deserve to be there.   The reason they got callbacks was because they would dress like hoes. They thought that they could get away with looking pretty, with their asses hanging out. But modeling isn't just about looks, its about getting picked for being yourself.

I went to New York not even expecting a callback.   I told myself I would be happy with at least one.   I ended up going home with seven call backs from agencies from New York and Los Angeles.   So to all the people who called me skinny, sh#@ I ain't trippin'anymore because like I said, I'm on my way to becoming a model.  

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