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The Road to Getting Off SSI is Paved With Hard, Sharp Gravel
By Christopher Patrick Nelson

Independence is difficult enough to achieve for young people, but becoming independent from State-Supplemented Income, or SSI, is nearly impossible. I was first put on medication at thirteen for a mental illness which was eventually diagnose as manic depression. After, I lived at group homes for teens with similar conditions. Some (not all) of the staff was helpful in dealing with my condition, but I was never taught how to drive or manage money. So at 18, too old for the group homes, I was cast out into the world without life-skills. I applied for SSI. My subsequent attempts at working while manic were a joke, although I wasn't laughing. Now, at 29, I have just gotten my driver's license, and I am trying to become financially independent.

Because the mentally ill community, including myself, miss months or even years of work, we are poor. So we live in rundown areas where we can afford the rent. Any crime, drug abuse, police brutality, and family dysfunction that form the truth of that neighborhood are our truth as well. I will give you an example. I tried to go to junior college, reasoning that a degree or certificate would ensure financial independence. Some of my neighbors, however, would stay up until two o'clock in the morning screaming at each other. Then they would wake up at five o'clock in the morning and start over again. I am not exaggerating. And so it was that I could not make my classes on time.

Some mentally ill people become relatively stable. The patterns of behavior I got used to during manic episodes were and are hard to break away from, though. Medication, therapy, and spirituality all play a part in normalizing my lifestyle. But, the sheer weight of years gives the force of habit an edge when I try to decide if I should start cleaning my house, or get ready for work. People like me are used to being in a creative, agitated, bliss, followed by a sleepy despair, (neither of which I chose) develop poor time-management techniques. As a result, it is hard to keep a regular work shift.. How many times can I be late to a job and not get fired?

I have tried to work at a thrift store before, which I will not name, but because of the problems mentioned above, I had to quit. (I am legally prevented from mentioned the other reasons.) This brings me to yet another barrier to independence. As an SSI recipient, I can only work for a certain number of months before they automatically cut off the money. But if the crazy habits I struggle to be rid of, or the dry-drunk behavior of the only neighbors I can afford, lose me employment, it can take ten years to get back on SSI. If I ever go full-blown manic and paint-it-black depressive again, I will need SSI to get medical help – and eat. Mania means taking every impulse as a fabulously charming idea, no matter the consequences, and the ride ends in a brick wall. Clinical depression is absolutely not the gothic Romanticism, which accepts dark and light as both having a place. It is feeling existence to be what you know it is not, and you want it to stop. The system set up for the mentally ill to survive creates a dependency on it without a path out. We who are so afflicted by the decree of God need more if we are ever to fulfill our needs in healthy, responsible ways. For instance, having a job, a wife, and a family is better than fathering illegitimate children we don't take care of. It is the government, after all, who would take of them most likely, seeing as bipolar disorder is hereditary. It is better to work. I am Muslim, and becoming independent is my jihad.

Comments On This Story:

Post by: Harold A. Maio (Email: khmaio@earthlink.net), January 13, 2006 8:33 AM

"Because the mentally ill community, including myself, miss months or even years of work, we are poor." This is a common misconception, stereotype. People who have a mental illness succeed in about the same ratio as any other groups in society, earning from the millions to far less, achieving at all levels. We teach at university, legislate laws, are professional athletes, judges, lawyers- name a profession, we are there. Name an award, we have won it. The issue of SSI limiting one's ability to earn is a very serious one.

Message From: Ramona Rodriguez (rerodriguez84@yahoo.com)
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 7:00 AM
I need SSI check, Because my mom had never give to me SSI check. I am over age, I never use that before SSI check.

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